MARRIAGEFAMILYBUSINESS

While it’s not my birthday or Christmas,  it’s Mother's Day, and for four reasons it’s super special for me.

Motherhood is the realization of a dream.  On one of our first dates, my husband and I went to the village in New York City and we sat and we had lunch. I remember telling him very flatly that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and that was my dream. He coughed up his drink and wasn't quite sure I meant. It's something that’s unfamiliar to many in our young, Black community, but I was adamant that I wanted to be the mom who was available to her children whenever they needed me and especially immediately after school. I wanted to make sure that I was at all my kids events. I wanted to make sure that I was the one they could see as a consistent support in their lives.

So for me, Mother's Day is much more than a spa and brunch and flowers - although I like all those things -  it's also a celebration of a dream that gradually becoming more...

One of the hardest things to do in business is to share your idea with someone else. You always think about the possibility that they will poke holes in it prematurely and increase the already-daunting amount of self doubt you have. Or, even worse, what if they steal your idea? Business is about originality, being innovative, and what and I have tried to do over the past 13 years is not follow a typical business model for Strategic Admissions Advice. Even as we are starting this marriage, family, business, we recognize that we have to step away from our "competitors" and find our niche, our lane, in order to be successful.

In order to do that, we’ve learned it is important to collaborate more and view people who might be in a similar space less as competition. There's plenty of room for everyone to help people grow, whether it's as an educator, helping people get into college, or as a couple, trying to help spouses go into business. Helping people to embrace the struggle, the...

These past few weeks have been hard for me. I have to admit that I never would’ve thought that the death of a rapper 3000 miles away from where I live would affect me the way it has. But yes, I’m still thinking about a person I never met. It’s probably because Nipsey Hussle, AKA Ermias Joseph Asghedom, was not just a rapper; he was an entrepreneur, a community servant and an activist. So while many people may say "Oh well, another rapper got shot. What's the big deal? That's the lifestyle they portray and you get what you give," that doesn't sit well with me. He was more than just a music artist, and it's horrible to see his life taken away from him prematurely.

I grieve for Nipsey Hussle, his significant other, Lauren London, and for their children, not just because they were in the public limelight, but because once upon a time I too was the daughter of a murdered man. For those of you who don't know this about me, my father was murdered when I was eight years...

Can I be real for a second? A few years ago, I was burned out, exhausted, and rapidly falling out of love with what we were doing. I thought we were spinning our wheels. So I made a decision to do business like big businesses do -- with a plan on daring to be different.

I knew we wanted to serve more people who needed our help at a lower price point. We got excited by the prospect of creating digital products and moving away from solely 1 to 1 services. How did we do it?

1. Getting specific

Most businesses are way too broad in what they offer.

There is a critical need to get MORE specific. There’s too much online noise not to be.

2. Creating a predictable way to generate leads

This has to be a constant. Using social media, strategies for list building, building an audience who likes and respects you. These are all crucial to generating leads. Not taking control of your lead generation creates an endless and exhausting cycle of hoping. You don’t want this.

I've heard my husband say “actors act and waiters wait” a million times. He heard it from Samuel L. Jackson a few years ago while Samuel L. was talking about the beginning of his career. In the early ‘90s he was first getting put on and still waiting for opportunities. Then, very quickly, his career picked up in the late ‘90s with Pulp Fiction and Jurassic Park. Now he's in a movie every three months. Samuel L. was very clearly living by the mantra that actors act and waiters wait.

And the takeaway from that really is: we have to attack life with a sense of urgency. If there's something you want to do you have to do it and be relentless about it.

I know many people are thinking about starting a business, particularly with their spouses, and for some reason they're hesitant. You're wondering: What if we don't get along? What if we put all our eggs in one basket? Is this gonna work? One in three businesses fail, so what's the point?

Great....

Connection and communication are fundamental to all relationships, but particularly so for couples in business together. Shereem and I have to connect and communicate in order to be effective as spouses, parents, and business partners. Last week we took some time just to do that. We literally just sat in the bed together, watched this really cool show called “Working Moms” on Netflix, and talked. It was so good to be able to talk about a variety of things — some personal, some business — and even though we try to keep our business out of the bedroom, in this space it felt okay.

We were able to do this and not allow one aspect of our lives together to weave into the other. Don’t be mistaken, we are far from a perfect couple, but at this juncture in our lives with almost 20 years married, we understand that nothing will get accomplished if we don't connect. And that starts with communication.

So, as you go through the next week please try to...

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a couple grinding it out together. When I say "grinding it out," I don't mean bumping their heads against the wall just trying to make everything work all at once. No. I mean trying to make their magic happen, trying to realize their dream, but realizing they have to put the work in in order to do this.

I know many couples where one spouse is working full time, and the other is starting or growing an entrepreneurial dream. I applaud both of you for talking, communicating, and making a decision to help each other the best way you know how, in order to be all that you want to be.

I have a friend who supports her husband in his baking business. This guy is an amazing baker. He creates these amazing bread puddings and cakes around the holidays. And seeing her hustle and market his bread pudding because she believes in him, I know she does it out of love.

How much they're earning from it? I don't know. But seeing her throw everything onto the fire in...

Did I really just do that?

Did I really just have a guest speaking gig at Motherhood: The Remix Conference in Birmingham, Alabama last weekend?

Did I really connect with women from all over the southeast and mid-Atlantic to talk to moms about our juggle, our struggle and our joy?

Yes, I did!

I'm super proud of myself and even more proud of Dr. Leesha who coordinated the event. Oh, what a relief to meet new powerful women who are doing it all.

Sometimes I forget that there are other people out there who are going through what I'm going through, but when I go to these conferences, particularly those focused on motherhood, I'm rejuvenated cause I know I'm not alone. Sometimes we get so caught up in our bubble or trying to impress people on social media on a day to day that we forgot that there are real hardships in being a parent.

I learned so much at this conference. I learned that not only am I not alone, but there are strategies that I can employ as a...

To date, and I say that very intentionally, my marriage is working because my husband and I are teammates. I don't say "to date" to be facetious. I understand that marriage is difficult and like many couples, my husband and I have looked at each other over the past 20 years a few times and said, "Are we going to be able to make it?" But to date, today, we are okay.

I think we're okay, because we continue to respect each other as teammates and help each other to live our dreams. It's not easy. I'd be lying if I said that I'm always the best wife, and he'd be lying if he said he's always the best husband but, for almost 20 years we've been, what we call the "hyphenated hustle." We say that because yes, we are hyphenated, Herndon and Brown, but also because we hustle. Not just for money, but for happiness. To me, hustle means work. It means doing whatever you have to do. When it comes to making me happy or trying to, my husband hustles. When it comes to providing for our...

I heard that there’s a “big game” tomorrow. Have you heard that too? Supposedly there’s a football game in Atlanta that will determine which team is the best for the 2018-19 season. Personally, I haven’t watched pro football for two seasons, and I’m a huge sports fan. I have my reasons for not wanting to watch but I will admit that I miss the “preparation.” As a foodie, cooking for the Super Bowl was an annual tradition but this year, since I’m on my NFL hiatus, I’ve decided that I’m going to prepare for another “big game.”

This game is called “Business.”

Yes, since I’m always “all in” for my husband and kids, I need to play a “bigger game” in my businesses. My husband and I have been fortunate that word of mouth has carried us for over a decade and last year, we made over $300K. We didn’t market, were hit or miss with social media and worked when we...